between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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