its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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