..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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