just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
