What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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