Life is so much better after having sex.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
