How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
