if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
