my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
