Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
