PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
