WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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