Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
