This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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