I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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