I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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