if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
