Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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