My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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