he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
