He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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