I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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