How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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