is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
