even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
