...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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