Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
