I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
