He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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