he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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