Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize