dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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