even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
