Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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