this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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