conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
