Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
