Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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