I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
