I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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