What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm always down for nudity.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
