I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You're a disaster
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