chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the day after is always just damage control
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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