This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
