We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
