Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
