He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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