stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
