Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
