I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
